A SAMPLE WEDDING CEREMONY
The following basic ceremony can be used in a number of ways. Some couples use it word-for-word, exactly as it is written, while others use it as a template, sort of a jumping-off point to inspire their own original ideas and wording. Others choose to write their own ceremonies completely from scratch. It's entirely up to you.
Most couples like to use this basic ceremony and some customize it to meet their specific needs. There are no rules. Feel free to copy this one and play with it. Be creative. Use your imagination, and most of all, have fun!
Although non-denominational ceremonies do not invoke any god or deity, I'm always happy to include cultural references or ceremonial symbols if they have personal significance for the couple. For example, a wedding might include a *Celtic hand-fasting ritual, or a wine glass breaking from the Jewish tradition (*see details following the ceremony).
A SAMPLE CEREMONY
(Approximately 10-15 minutes in length)
The Wedding Ceremony
Mary Jones & John Smith
April 21, 2002
OFFICIANT: Good afternoon, and welcome to the ceremony that will unite Mary and John in marriage.
We gather here today to celebrate their union, and to honor their commitment to one another. Not just gazing at one another, but to looking outward together in the same direction. Today Mary and John proclaim their love to the world, and we rejoice with and for them.
In marriage, we give ourselves freely and generously into the hands of the one we love, and in doing so, each of us receives the love and trust of the other as our most precious gift. But even as two people who are in love share that gift, it also touches the friends and family members who in various ways support and contribute to the relationship. All of you here today are a part of Mary and John's community, and each of you has played some part in bringing them to this moment. This is why gathering, as a community, is such an important part of a wedding ceremony. Because Mary and John are now taking a new form, as a married couple, and in this form, they become part of their community in a new way.
During the past few weeks I have been thinking about Mary and John and how touched I am by the depth of friendship I see between them. It reminded me of a poem written about 150 years ago.
Oh, the comfort
The inexpressible comfort
Of feeling safe with a person
Having neither to weigh thoughts
Nor measure words - but pouring them
All right out
Just as they are
Chaff and grain together
Certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them
Keep what is worth keeping
And with the breath of kindness
Blow the rest away.
(NOTE: If you want to insert something personal, such as a favorite poem or song, a statement made to one another or to your family, a rose ceremony, a unity candle, or anything else “theatrical”, this is the spot for it).
VOWS
Mary and John we are here to rejoice with you and to recount with one another that it is love that guides us on our path, and to celebrate as you begin this journey together. It is in this spirit that you have come here today to exchange these vows.
Please face each other.
John, repeat after me:
I, John, take you Mary to be my wife /
I promise above all else to live in truth with you /
and to communicate fully and fearlessly /
I give you my hand and my heart /
as a sanctuary of warmth and peace /
and pledge my love, devotion, faith and honor as I join my life to yours.
Mary, repeat after me:
I, Mary, take you John to be my husband /
I promise above all else to live in truth with you /
and to communicate fully and fearlessly /
I give you my hand and my heart /
as a sanctuary of warmth and peace /
and pledge my love, devotion, faith and honor as I join my life to yours.
RINGS
For thousands of years men and women have exchanged rings as a token of their vows. These simple gold bands are not of great value in themselves, but are made precious by our wearing of them. Your rings say that even in your uniqueness you have chosen to be bound together. Let these rings also be a sign that love has substance as well as soul, a present as well as a past, and that, despite its occasional sorrows, love is a circle of happiness, wonder, and delight.
John, take Mary's ring and put it on her finger, and repeat after me:
Just as this circle is without end, my love for you is eternal
Just as it is made of indestructible substance
My commitment to you will never fail
With this ring I take you to be my trusted confidante and partner for life.
Mary, put the ring on John's finger and repeat after me:
Just as this circle is without end, my love for you is eternal.
Just as it is made of indestructible substance
My commitment to you will never fail
With this ring I take you to be my trusted confidante and partner for life.
Now you will feel no rain, for each of you will be shelter for the other.
Now you will feel no cold, for each of you will be warmth for the other.
Now you are two persons, but there is only one life inside you.
Now when one of you sheds a tear, the other will taste salt.
As you leave today to enter the days of your life together.
I hope your days will be good, and long upon the earth.
PRONOUNCEMENT
Mary and John, in as much as you have consented together in this ceremony to live in wedlock and have sealed your vows in the presence of this assembly and by the giving of the rings, it gives me great pleasure to pronounce you Husband and Wife.
You may kiss the bride.
Ladies and Gentlemen:
May I present to you for the first time:
MR. & MRS. JOHN AND MARY SMITH
OPTION ADDITIONS:
Rose Ceremony:
JOHN; take this rose and repeat after me:
"Mother, take this rose as a symbol of my love. It began as a tiny bud and blossomed, just as my love has growand blossomed for you"
He hands his mother a long-stemmed red rose.
MARY; take this rose and repeat after me:
"Mother, take this rose as a symbol of my love. It began as a tiny bud and blossomed, just as my love has grown and blossomed for you"
She hands her mother a long-stemmed red rose.
Unity Ceremony:
Mary and John, this candle you are about to light is a candle of Marriage and Unity and symbolizes the flame of your own individual selves joining together in love.
This candle before you is a candle of Commitment because it takes two people working together to keep it aflame.
You also bring the warmth, strength and wisdom of your family's fire as kindling for your own.
As you light this candle today, may the brightness of the flame shine throughout your lives. May it give you courage and reassurance in darkness and joy in your bodies, minds, and spirits.
May your union be forever blessed.
Handfasting Ceremony:
Mary and John have chosen to incorporate the ancient Celtic ritual of Handfasting into their wedding ceremony today. Traditionally it was performed by a priest or priestess, who would invoke the energies of the four natural elements to create a sacred circle in which the couple are joined as embodiments of god and goddess. Handfasting is a very powerful declaration of intent, where bride and groom clearly state that they are marrying of their own free will.
Mary and John, know before you go further, that since your lives have crossed in this life, you have formed eternal and sacred bonds. And as you enter this marriage, know that within this circle you are not only declaring your intent to be handfasted before your friends and family, but you speak that intent also to your creative higher powers.
Do you still seek to enter this ceremony?
BOTH: Yes.
Mary and John, I bid you look into each other's eyes.
Will you honor and respect one another, and seek to never break that honor?
We will...
Sheila, will you come up and wrap the first cord? (Sheila is John's sister.)
[First cord is draped over the couples' hands]
And so the first binding is made.
Mary and John, Will you share each other's pain and seek to ease it?
We will...
Michele, will you come up and wrap the second cord? (Michele is John's daughter.)
[Second cord is draped over the couples' hands]
And so the second binding is made
Mary and John, Will you share the burdens of each other so that your spirits may grow in this union?
We will...
Lisa, will you come up and wrap the third cord? (Lisa is Mary's daughter.)
[Third cord is draped over the couples' hands]
And so the third binding is made.
Mary and John, will you share each other's laughter, and look for the brightness in life and the positive in each other?
We will...
Melanie will you come up and wrap the fourth cord? (Melanie is also Mary's daughter.)
[Fourth cord is draped over the couples' hands]
And so the fourth binding is made.
Mary and John, as your hands are bound together now, so your lives and spirits are joined in a union of love and trust.
Above you are the stars and below you is the earth.
Like the stars your love should be a constant source of light, and like the earth, a firm foundation from which to grow.
(Officiant removes the cords and hands them to Mary.)
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